Relationship

6 Reasons Why Guys Stay With The Wrong Woman Instead Of Breaking Up

By now you know that around here we talk a lot about serving what we want. By definition, this means becoming the kind person who can attract the MOTOS (Members of the Opposite Sex) we dream of. But more importantly, it ALSO means that we have to know how to RECOGNIZE the great ones and DELETE the bad ones from our lives. Then, and ONLY then, will we have a clear chance to enter that magical realm affectionately known as “total control over one’s love life.”

Once we get past personal issues related to confidence (eg, “Great women? That’s for other men…they’ll never want ME”) and/or utter laziness, it’s time to take inventory. the kind of women we are. guys have been inviting into our lives. As you’ve heard me speak before, far too many men find themselves in the position of waking up one day to find themselves married to a woman they didn’t even CHOOSE.

How the hell does that happen? Well, it all starts when you hook up with someone out of sheer convenience or even coincidence who kind of likes you. But what perpetuates it is the simple truth that even when a man finds himself in such a mediocre situation, he STILL doesn’t end things… at least not soon enough.

Below are six silly (but unfortunately all too common) excuses that we as men use to fool ourselves into staying in far-from-fulfilling relationships. And really all we’re talking about today is equal opportunity, so the ladies out there listen. By the way, FAIR WARNING, I’m about to put it on the line in a totally direct way, so be prepared.

1) “But the sex is pretty good”

Man, if this isn’t the battle cry of the sex-focused but desperate man. The nagging thought here is that if the breakup happens, he’s not going to “get anything”… maybe for a LONG time.

This isn’t just myopic, it’s completely lacking in vision. Often the same men who find “sexual variety” an arousing thought are the exact same ones who stay with the same woman just because their sex life could suffer if they don’t. I’m not sure if this is “oxymoronic” or just “jerk”. But those are the tricks a man’s mind can play on him when sex is the only goal.

I don’t care who the woman is, after you’ve had sex with her a few times, she’ll know how to move and need something MUCH deeper to sustain a relationship. Do you need proof? Okay, for all you “one-handed web surfers out there,” go find the smokiest hottie on the web you can find. Get all the video clips and photos you can handle. How long will it be until you get bored and look for the next one? I’ll give you fifteen minutes… tops. Real life is no different. If it’s all about sex, your priorities are out of order.

By the way, there is another angle to this. If you stay with a woman because the sex is particularly good, I have news for you. Women tend to respond to a man’s leadership in the bedroom. Good sex starts with you. Once you can ignite female passion, you will find that women respond. On the other hand, if you are a “sex-focused but desperate man” as mentioned, you have a very real point in believing that you “got lucky” if the woman you are currently with is sexually arousing.

2) “But she’s the HOTTEST I’ve ever been with.”

This concept closely follows the previous one. When a guy who’s used to dating mediocre women finds himself with a particularly attractive one, it’s incredibly easy to fall into the trap of believing that he’ll never in a million years be able to repeat that good fortune.

Now, once the woman realizes this, one of three things can happen. First, her insecurity will make her realize he’s out of her league and her breakup will take care of itself… courtesy of her. Second, she can be a standout woman of complete character that matches her external beauty and everyone is happy about it, and rightly so. BUT…she can also proceed opportunistically to make the most of the situation and crush the guy into oblivion. This third situation is the one that interests me the most for now.

What’s the cure to letting go of the sexiest woman you’ve ever been with when you know she’s poisonous? Easy. If you can do this once, you can do it again. How’s that for a simple answer? It’s all a matter of personal trust. It was no coincidence that she was attracted enough to you to be with you. Other women will feel the same way…and if she continues to develop his masculine character and her confidence level, she’ll discover that she can even GO UP. I’ve lost count of the number of guys I know who have finally kicked the wrong (but hot) woman out of their lives only to slap themselves on the head sooner rather than later for not doing it for months (or even years). before.

3) “I don’t want to make her cry… I’d feel like a bad boy.”

Granted, most men don’t like to make women cry. And it’s not even about women being “emotional manipulators” most of the time. We as men do this to ourselves simply because we want to avoid something that is unpleasant and perhaps causes some guilt. The truth is, if the breakup is to happen, putting off an upsetting moment only adds to the potential agony later on. Imagine the tears if you’re headed to divorce court years from now…with small children at stake.

4) “Oh man… I’d have to start all over again”

Granted, there may actually be some insecurity at issue here. But in reality, this is usually pure laziness. Even if the relationship doesn’t live up to expectations, it’s often too COMFORTABLE to stay. Otherwise, a guy has to go out and meet another woman, go through the whole process of “meeting you”, meet the parents again, build another whole story, etc.

And why does all of that sound like drudgery instead of something that’s really exciting? Truth be told, staying in stagnant relationships can, in these cases, literally be a matter of continuing to wake up doing exactly what happened yesterday instead of TAKING ACTION. That’s right… pure PROCRASTINATION.

Not surprisingly, many men report a “weight lifted off their shoulders” when they finally make the right decision in these situations and break things off. Go figure.

By the way, for most people who deserve what they want, it takes a lot less time to make a real, valid connection with someone new than they think. Personally, I put someone online in the morning, went for coffee in the afternoon, and soon shared a mutual “we’ve known each other for ten years” feeling. Knowing that it is a fully replicable scenario can avoid having to “start over”, right?

5) “It’s just a phase… We’ll figure it out and get over it”

Also known as “denial.” So do you think the inability to get along, be sexually compatible, and/or share a common core belief system is going to “change over time”? You are fooling yourself. And you’re in especially deep yogurt if she tells you that “having a baby” will “bring them closer.”

Don’t yell at me for telling the truth. It never ceases to amaze me how I can repeatedly find myself in public with partners who can’t stand each other…and aren’t even married.

6) “She just has this way of putting me off.”

I’ll tell you, some women are world-class salespeople. His determination is impressive at times. Impressive enough to make you keep her close, perhaps even after you’ve openly expressed your desire to move on. This can be presented through such classic statements as: “I haven’t been myself lately…give me a chance”, “How can you throw away something so GOOD?” and “You just don’t know what you want.” you still don’t want to, you’ll wake up and see how great I am to you soon.”

Of course, there’s my personal least favorite, the infamous: “What? Do you think you’re EVER going to find someone as good as me?” Yes Yes. See #2 above. That is manipulation at its worst.

For the six examples above, another sentiment generally applies and is common to each. That’s the whole notion of, “Hey, there’s always someone out there worse than me, right?” This is not the mentality of someone who considers himself serving what he wants, is it?

The bottom line is this: he (or she) who stays with someone long after the breakup probably should have happened ADJUSTS.

And “settling down” invariably leads to bitterness. The one who feels he could have “done better” has his nose pressed against the glass looking at “greener grass” somewhere else… probably feeling queasy the whole time. But what about the person who has been “established”? Is he or she cartwheeling for her good fortune? Not in your life… the feeling of not being wanted by your “significant other” is one of the most empty, humiliating and degrading feelings you can imagine.

The truth is, EVERYONE SUFFERS when people GET TRAINED.

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