All Diamonds Are Flawed: Five Things to Remember When Comparing With Others
“All Diamonds Are Flawed: 5 Things to Remember When Comparing Yourself to Others”
Have you ever fallen in love with a particular character in a movie, or made a hero out of a superstar athlete, or better yet, aspired to be like a highly visible person just because of how they appeared on screen, on the field of sports or in the media?
I’ll be honest. Have. I “fell” over and over again with Rachel Green (Jennifer Anniston) from the TV show Friends. She was pretty and had a magnetic and sexy personality. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, she never knew that I “loved” her. Maybe it would have been a match made in heaven, but most likely she would have eventually had to reveal herself as a human being, just like me. She shines like a diamond, but all diamonds are flawed. Even the pretty, sexy, magnetic ones.
It’s so easy to see these superstar people as people we want to be like or people we want to be with. They seem to have it all together, possessing all the qualities that we admire and want for ourselves. These charismatic, funny, beautiful, well-spoken, and talented idols invite us into their life on stage and arena making us believe that who and what we see is the real deal. If they do their job well, and the ones we’re drawn to are obviously outstanding at what they do, we covet the prize they seem to already have.
Say it ain’t so
We are often shocked when we discover that our hero, or our love interest in the movie, has an addiction, hates children, is broke, or has other warts that are often disguised with makeup, or a supermodel in each. arm.
Where is the glory story?
My brother was a reporter for a Midwestern newspaper several years ago and had the opportunity to interview Woody Herman, one of the biggest and most popular big band leaders in the industry. Being a fan himself, he was excited by the opportunity to speak with Woody. Sitting face to face with this Big Band icon, my brother was looking forward to an interview filled with the glorious story of spending a lifetime as a touring musician, playing to auditoriums packed with enthusiastic fans. Not so much. The gist of the interview was that the famous bandleader, who seemed to have it all, was only on tour because a crooked manager blindly robbed him and would have quit long ago if he hadn’t been forced to play. to ever-shrinking audiences and living with a tired suitcase due to his financial difficulties.
So much for a glory story, but it’s a perfect example of what we see on the outside isn’t exactly what’s true on the inside.
Remember, all diamonds have flaws.
When I look at other people and compare them to who I am, I work hard to remember a couple of things that help me keep things in perspective, mainly so I don’t get fooled by what I think they are:
1. Does their perceived brightness shine through no matter where they are—onstage and off, in the spotlight or in the grocery store, in the arena or on the playground?
2. Am I clear about who they really are at their core and can I differentiate between who they appear to be and who they are in real life?
3. When I look at someone in the spotlight, can I see their true depth as human beings? Are real? They care? Do they show their true selves in all their strength and glory, as well as all their faults and flaws?
4. Does your fire burn hotter and hotter just because you’re performing or bringing that energy into your lives out of the spotlight and off the court?
5. Is the shine that attracts me just smoke and mirrors or are they really living their passion and it manifests in everything they do?
Here’s the kicker.
So I ask those same questions to myself!