Bulimia Recovery: 3 Tips for Practicing Self Love

One of the turning points in my recovery from bulimia was the steps that took me from self-doubt to self-acceptance and self-love. I believe that we are born inherently loving ourselves. When we separate ourselves from our true nature and put the standards of society above what we need, when we begin to compare ourselves with others we begin to devalue ourselves.

Self-love is not about being conceived. It’s about accepting and appreciating yourself as you are. You recognize your value as a human being. Low levels of self-esteem, self-confidence, and lack of self-love regularly exist in those with self-destructive behaviors and addictions. This includes bulimia, other eating disorders, and other addictions.

I don’t think we are born with an inner critic, but rather develop one over time. This inner critic has been given many names over time: Negative Nelly, Ego-self, Little Me, Lower Self, Monkey Mind, Devil Inside My Head. Whatever you choose to call it, it’s a survival-oriented (mostly negative) defense mechanism that we put in place to keep ourselves safe and secure.

Our innate desire to fit in and be accepted by others causes us to compare ourselves to those around us. We recognize society’s idealized body size and shape and strive to transform ourselves to meet other people’s standards. Consequently, accepting that we are beautiful, exceptional or incredible, just the way we are, does not come naturally. And our inner critic will keep us striving to fit in and be accepted so that we can “survive” in the world around us.

I believe that one of the foundations of bulimia recovery is learning to become aware first and then distinguish ourselves from the negative voice in our head and nurture ourselves with love and optimism from within. After many attempts to overcome bulimia, I finally recovered when I realized that self-love was crucial to my healing. Here are some questions to help you figure out where you are in terms of accepting, appreciating, and loving yourself:

1. Does it make you uncomfortable when people compliment you or can you take them in stride?
2. Are you overwhelmed or burdened by the expectations of others?
3. When someone says you’re beautiful, do you think they’re just saying it to get something out of you?
4. Would you consider yourself your worst critic? Do you often compare yourself to others and find yourself wanting what others have?
5. Do you trust your intuition?
6. Do you hang out with people who are optimistic, or do your friends bring you down or make you feel bad about yourself?
7. Is it easy for you to forgive yourself when you make a mistake, whether imagined or real?
8. Is it easy for you to forgive yourself?
9. Is it very important to you to work hard to please others, especially your parents?
10. Would you consider yourself selfish if you put your needs before those of others?

If you answered “yes” to any of the questions above, I encourage you to consider practicing self-love.

There are different ways to go through life. You can choose to see life as hard and everyone around you as better than you or you can choose to believe that what makes you unique is also what makes you beautiful and brilliant. The world would not be the same without you.

Here are 3 ways you can start practicing self love:

1. be easy on yourself– if you make a mistake, be easy on yourself and move on. Think twice before you start punishing yourself. If you can, see the humor in what happened and how you probably made an innocent mistake. Just like you would be a friend who has made a mistake, be a little nice.
2. put yourself first– prioritizing yourself above your job, your family, your responsibilities will go a long way in helping you assess your needs. If you are putting your needs last, you are not valuing yourself and what you need to be healthy and happy. If you need more sleep, get it. If you want to go for a walk, do it. This can mean saying no to other people and that’s okay.
3. do nice things for yourself– When was the last time you gave yourself a good gift or gave yourself something you like? If you haven’t done anything nice for yourself lately, it’s about time. Honor yourself by giving yourself what makes you feel good. Make a list of the 10 things you enjoy the most and do at least one a week or one a month. Hey, why not?

Self-love is not something you can expect to achieve immediately in bulimia recovery if you’ve been beating yourself up all these years, but it will grow over time with practice.

Practicing self-love is not about being someone you think people will like or think others want you to be. It’s about being your authentic self. When you are loving and kind to yourself – and you realize deserve live a full and happy life: not only will you feel better inside, but I believe that everything around you will start to align with your new vision.