Lifestyle Fashion

Dating Tips For Women Over 40

It’s safe to say that when you’re over 40, the dating game changes significantly. You are not imagining it. In fact, the dating challenges for women over 40 are so specific that getting good advice is critical to finding love with less heartache, pain, and confusion. (Fact: More than a third of Americans over 40 are single, and more than 25 million of them are women.)

As part of the 40+ category, the same dating advice that works for 20-somethings isn’t always the same advice you’re looking for. This is why:

  • As a woman over 40, your main goal is not necessarily to get married and have babies. You may have already been married, you may already have babies, or perhaps neither is true; but either one could be a problem.
  • The dating game has changed significantly since you dated in your twenties. Sexting. Text messages. Internet dating. Fast dates. Even matchmaking. All are viable alternatives in the 21st century. If you don’t know how to use these tools, or think only “losers” would use them, you may be dramatically sabotaging your success.
  • You’re not sure who to date when you’re 40. Is it appropriate to date men in their 30s? How about feeling like you’re not attracted to men in their sixties, the exact men who may be chasing you the most online? Is it imperative to find someone who is exactly your age and can recite lines from Gilligan’s Island alongside you?
  • What are the goals of your relationship? Are you looking to get married? You want to have children? Are you simply looking for a serious relationship with Mr. Boyfriend Material?

Whatever your concerns, here are the keys to our advice for women over 40 in three short but sweet tips.

1. Use your dating experience in a proper way.

Whether you’ve been through a messy divorce recently or have had multiple long-term relationships and are ready for a relationship, you probably have some (if not a lot) dating experience. As a date over 40 years old, you need to make sure you don’t “leak” any of this energy or knowledge, negative or otherwise, into the new relationships you find yourself in.

It’s okay to remember the things you’ve learned in past relationships, but it might be a good idea to check in with a dating consultant to make sure you’re getting the right thing. Avoiding making assumptions like “It happened before and therefore must happen again” can affect all of your appointments if you are not armed with a clean slate before jumping into the group of appointments.

2. Get out there.

Have your friends been encouraging you to join that online dating site? Well guess what? One in four people who are in a committed or married relationship met their loved ones on an online dating site.

Remember there are tons of good men ready for relationships who will be interested in you, but you need to get to know them first! Joining a Meetup, starting a new workout routine, or creating a profile on an online dating site are really great ways to meet great men. Hang out at a bar every Saturday night? It’s not that great, so stay active online and outside.

3. Be honest about what you are looking for.

Hopefully, you won’t find yourself saying things like “There are no good men out there.” But if you find yourself headed down that road, head in the opposite direction immediately. There are so many great guys out there!

Due to the multitude of amazing men waiting to meet you, don’t commit to someone you think is “almost good enough.” If someone is not meeting your needs and you have communicated openly about what those healthy needs are, go ahead.

At the other end of the spectrum, having a list of the things you are looking for in a man is great. But make sure you don’t cross people off your potential list because they are missing something like “you dress well all the time” or “cook like a gourmet chef.” Ultimately, getting stuck in the “lack” mentality will keep you powerless and stuck.

Remember, once you feel confident and know that you are worthy of an amazing man, amazing men will become magnetized to you. Paradoxically, when you think you have to conform, you attract men who you feel are “good enough.” Get out of this vicious cycle and dig deep to find your “inner wonder” so that you can get exactly what you want out of love at forty.

The most important tip for women over 40 is this: Remember to have fun. You know what you want, you know yourself and you know what you want in a partner.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *