Mommy’s dilemma

Working mother or stay-at-home mother? When I was a working mom, all I could think about was spending more time with my son and now that I’m a stay at home mom, I think how horrible it is to be financially dependent. The devil of the mind will always look for greener pastures in the things he does not have. So the only way I know of to take the reins of the wild horses is to do some personal introspection and visit the ordered list of priorities at any given time.

There is a huge database on the Internet of working mothers versus stay-at-home mothers. Now that I’ve experienced a bit of both worlds, I must say that each has its own pros and cons and it’s really personal. As a working mom, the common lunch table discussions with my colleagues who were moms was the perpetual lack of time available to do enviable things stay-at-home moms do: spending time with the kids, doing good housework. , cook and pursue their hobbies. Now that I am a stay at home mom and regularly take my son to play in the evenings, I know other mothers who were also working women and many times the favorite topic of discussion is the desire to go back to work.

I suppose it is only women who have to face this decision and never men. The females of all species on the planet are the main responsible for raising the offspring. It does not mean that the male is incapable. It is natural that the one who gives birth is the one who has an unbreakable bond formed with the child from a fetal stage and perhaps that is why the primary responsibility.

A few generations ago, let’s say that even a generation when my mother was a mother my age, most women were quite comfortable with the fact that after graduation comes marriage and then home and children. That was his life and quite simple at that. There was a clear division in responsibilities, the woman as caregiver and the man as provider. Complications began when women decided to dabble in the man’s field and began to assume equal responsibilities to earn their bread as well. With the added responsibilities, there has been a change in parenting ways. These have also brought about a change in the responsibilities of man.

For two generations, where most men abstained from housework, men today are helping out with cooking, cleaning, laundry, and various household chores. If women have so easily accepted and conquered the additional responsibilities outside the home, why is it so difficult to shed the emotional baggage that comes with engaging in parenting firsthand? While we have evolved and adapted quite well to newly acquired responsibilities away from home, we will have to wait and see how we evolve on the emotional front. Getting rid of this luggage is still a long way to go.