Non-traditional families are the new tradition

Remember those TV sitcoms from the ’50s and ’60s that are now reruns on late-night TV? The television shows “Ozzie and Harriet” or “Leave it to Beaver” tell stories of families made up of a husband and wife and their two children. These programs portrayed what is called the traditional family in the United States. That was years ago and things have changed a lot since then.

We now have what are called “non-traditional” families. There are many varieties of these “non-traditional” families. These include single-parent families, unmarried couples living together, many of whom have children, gay couples, married people with children from previous relationships, grandparents raising grandchildren, and many other household arrangements.

In fact, if you look around your neighborhood, you’ll probably see more non-traditional than traditional families.

Now, most of our laws were written to meet the needs of traditional families.

What this means is that these non-traditional families often must assemble legal tools to meet their unique needs. Or maybe they do nothing, hoping things will work out without a plan. Sometimes people will try to craft their own agreement or piece together multiple legal documents to fit their particular situation.

Sometimes these approaches work, and sometimes these efforts are disastrous.

Let me give you some examples.

Tom and Alice, who are not married, bought a house together. Both names are on the mortgage and on the deed. Their relationship soured, so Tom moved out. Tom wants to get his money from the house and wants to qualify for a new mortgage on another house. Alice wants to continue living in the house, but she is falling behind on her mortgage payments. Tom is frustrated. The bank will not give you a new mortgage. Worse yet, as the mortgage continues to default, Tom and Alice’s credit ratings become very poor.

Sam and Adam are a gay couple. Sam gets sick and goes to the hospital. He is under heavy medication and his parents come to the hospital. Sam’s parents do not approve of Adam, so Adam cannot visit Sam and has no say in the treatment Sam will receive.

Marjorie marries Allen. Allen has two children from a previous relationship. Allen sells his house and they move into a house they put in their names. Allen and Marjorie are in a car accident. Allen is killed in the accident, and Marjorie dies the next week. Marjorie’s son gets the whole house and Allen’s children get nothing.

These are the types of problems that non-traditional families can face.

Often, the home remedies that the parties put together do not work.

The solution is that partners should consult with an experienced estate planning attorney to plan how they want their estate to be handled in the event of breakup, illness, or death.

The content of this article is for information only and should not be construed as legal advice. For personal legal advice, you should consult with an attorney experienced in estate law or estate planning.