The definitive collection of engineering jokes
While you may not be able to tell when you’re talking to one, most engineers tend to have a wonderful sense of humor. In an effort to dispel one of the oldest myths about engineers, we’ve compiled the following series of engineering jokes. We hope you find them as fun as we do 🙂
Three metal spheres
The local university recently decided to present a test to its professors. Three metal spheres were placed on a table and the teachers were told to do whatever they wanted with them. Each teacher had one hour alone in the room with the three metal spheres. After an hour, the math teachers emerge and the balls are arranged in a triangle shape. Next, the Physics teacher leaves his room; the balls are stacked on top of each other. Finally, the engineering professor leaves his room. One ball is broken, one ball is missing, and he is taking the third ball out of his lunch box.
Three engineers drive in a car; an electrical engineer, a chemical engineer, and a software engineer. The car stops running and they stop on the shoulder of the road to inspect it. The electrical engineer suggests that they disassemble the car’s electronics in an attempt to trace where a fault may have occurred. The chemical engineer suspects that the fuel is emulsifying and suggests that they become concentrated in the fuel system. The software engineer suggests closing all windows, exiting, re-entering, and opening all windows again to see if that helps.
The retired engineer
After 30 years of loyal service, John the Engineer retired from his company. Several years later, the company was having trouble troubleshooting one of its new multi-million dollar machines. No one on staff was able to resolve the issue, so they contacted John the Engineer. John spent the next day studying the machine. At the end of the day, he marked a particular component with a small “x” in chalk. The part was replaced and the machine immediately started working again. A short time later, the company received an invoice for $ 75,000. After demanding an itemized invoice, John the engineer responded with the following: 1 mark of chalk – $ 1.00, Know where to put it – $ 74,999.00
The lost balloon
A man is flying in a hot air balloon, but he realizes that he is lost. He sees another man downstairs and lowers his balloon to ask for directions. “Excuse me, sir. I was wondering if you could help me. I’m lost and I was supposed to meet a friend half an hour ago. The man on the ground says,” Well, you’re in a hot air balloon. You are floating at approximately 30 feet, and you are between 40-41 degrees north latitude and 58-59 degrees west longitude. “” You must be an engineer, “replies the man in the balloon.” In fact, I am. “says the man on the ground.” How did you know? “The aeronautical says” Everything you have told me is technically correct, but I’m still completely lost. “The man on the ground says:” Hmmm, you must be a manager. “To which, the aeronautical asks” How did you know? ? “The engineer responds:” He does not know where he is or where he is going. You have made a promise that you cannot keep and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were before we met, but somehow it’s all my fault. “
The human body
Three engineering students are sitting talking about who could have designed the human body. “It must have been a mechanical engineer,” says the first student. “The human body has all kinds of levers, pivots and stuff. Only a mechanical engineer would have designed all of that.” The second student responds, “No, he must have been an electrical engineer. Think about the complex way the nervous system is connected to the brain.” The third student responds, “No way folks. The human body was definitely designed by a civil engineer. Who else would have opened a sewage pipe through the recreation area?”