When learning is not easy
From the moment we find out we are expecting a child, our minds and hearts are full of hopes and dreams for them. My son will be the most beautiful, brilliant and talented little person to ever walk the Earth, right? And they are that for each one of us!
But sometimes, we discover that there is a “problem”. The last thing we want to admit is that there is something different or wrong with our child. It’s kind of hard to do. Not that we love them any less! But let’s be honest, we’d rather sit down with other moms and share how our 4-year-old can read a chapter book, do multiplication facts at 6, and paint like Rembrandt at 7. Not to mention, they’re also on their way to the Olympics in two different sports. Or at least it seems so when you are the one who listens quietly to all the achievements of other people’s children!
So let’s get a few things straight… Chances are those other moms are overreacting a bit! And there is nothing wrong with your son! Even if your child has a learning disability. He or she just learns differently than the mainstream! And really, that’s great!
Although I didn’t always feel that way. After struggling to teach my daughter to read for 3 years with little progress, I was feeling pretty frustrated and so was she. Every school session ended in tears and some days started in tears at the mere mention of reading. She had always loved books and being read to and she was excited to learn to read on her own. So why was it such a big fight? Was I just a bad teacher? Were you too easily distracted and not motivated enough?
We finally decided to test at age 7. He had noticed a lot of letter and word reversal in reading and writing, as well as in math. She complained that her head and eyes ached from reading (and an eye test found that he had 20/20 vision). She needed to know what was stopping us. He knew that he was extremely intelligent in many ways, but we were running into a brick wall. Since we are homeschooling, we decided to test him with a private therapist. It took him 4 hours to complete and when he finished we were told that he had visual and auditory processing disorders.
Then I went into mom investigation mode! And as I read and searched the internet and the library, I became more and more confused and overwhelmed! There didn’t seem to be any really helpful books or websites and the ones I did find seemed to tell me different things! We decided to go for vision therapy, which of course is not covered by insurance, are any of us surprised? But we felt it was worth a try and worth the money. In therapy, she worked on relearning phonetics using A Time for Phonics. We also did assigned therapy at home. After 6 months it was over and I could definitely see a huge improvement! We didn’t do hearing therapy with the therapist because of the cost, but I did use a program called Earobics for home. I also found the book, The Out of Sync Child and When the Brain Can’t Hear very helpful.
My search continued to find other ways to help her learn in a way that would suit her learning styles. You see, processing disorders and dyslexia don’t have to be a hindrance. There are so many ways to learn. The moment I realized this was when I found a book by Ben Foss, The Dyslexia Empowerment Plan. I encourage everyone to read it! Check out their website too! I hate the word accommodation. He gives the impression that he needs extra or special help, as if he is allowed to cheat. There should be no shame in learning differently. Find out what your child’s strengths are and build on those skills. Don’t focus on the standard way most children are taught to read. I have been so incredibly grateful that I chose to homeschool because my daughter did not have to compare herself to others or be labeled in any way. But even if your child is in public or private school, remember that your child isn’t broken, but the system can be. Advocate for your child to have the resources she needs to excel and feel connected.
What resources can you use? Oh, there are many! This is where I got overwhelmed! I am going to list some of the resources that I felt were the best. But take a look around you and explore the options available!
-Audiobooks are your friends! Don’t fall behind in learning because you can’t read the material fast enough! If your child is a good learner by listening, try Audible. Amazon also has audiobooks, just like your local library.
-A reading focus card. You can make your own or buy one. Also try printing your pages on yellow paper, or try other colors than the usual white.
-Use a text to speech app like Speak It or Talk to Me, and also a speech to text app like Dragon Dictation. Another useful app is Prizmo, users can scan any type of text document and have the program read it out loud which can be a great help for those who have reading difficulties.
-I love Snapwords for learning site words! Now there is also an app for Snapwords!
-Fonts and background colors: Software commonly used in schools, such as Microsoft Word, is a good resource for fonts and background colors. Changing the background color to green, for example, can help with reading just like wearing green glasses. Fonts can also enable reading and understanding; Teachers can download free specialized fonts, such as OpenDyslexic, which are free and can run on Microsoft software.
-All about spelling, this curriculum is great for all kids, but the multi-sensory approach based on Orton-Gillingham methods clicked with my daughter! We haven’t tried All About Reading, but I bet it’s a good option.
-We use Rocket Phonics after finishing vision therapy. It was developed by a dyslexic man, and it’s fun! There are lots of games involved and interesting stories to read, not the usual boring books that are your typical easy read.
-Math has been a struggle for us as well as reading. Memorizing facts is a challenge. I found a math program that uses association learning, using fact and process mnemonics called Semple Math.
-Let’s do it! Use clay, paints, blocks, magnets, etc. to practice letters, spelling and sounds. Learn to write letters correctly first in sand with your index finger, then move on to writing with a pencil. make it fun! Use all your senses!
-Play games! Some we have used and enjoyed are Sum Swamp, What’s Gnu?, Scrabble, Very Silly Sentences, Boggle Jr. even card games like sum war (place two cards each and add), or Alphabet Go Fish (you have to say the letter sounds), search Pinterest and the Internet for fun games to practice math facts and letter sounds or spelling and high-frequency words. Even if your child is older, there are practical ideas that are fun and multi-sensory.
Moms (and dads), my goal in writing this is to give you some starting points. And just so you know you’re not alone! I know that it can be disappointing at first to learn that your child is struggling in some way. But it can also feel like a weight has been lifted off your shoulders knowing how your child learns and that there are ways to help and empower your little one. I know that if you are in a school setting, you will have to explain to your child why she may go to a special class or take tests differently from other children. You have to trust yourself to know how to talk to your child. There are children’s books that talk about dyslexia and learning disabilities in a positive way, such as Thank You, Mr. Falker by Patricia Polacco, The Alphabet War by Diane Robb, and for older children, May B by Caroline Rose or Niagra Falls, Or does it? By Henry Winkler (yes, Fonzie from Happy Days!)
Try to emphasize your strengths and affinities and don’t just focus on your weaknesses and difficulties. Remind your child that he can learn, but that he learns in a unique way, and that’s okay! We are all unique and have our own strengths and weaknesses. Love your child for who he is and hopefully he will find the right tools to make learning skyrocket!
I never thought I would see the day when my daughter’s favorite activity would be reading! Go ahead, keep connecting, relax and make it fun, and love them no matter what!