My ex is texting me, does he want me back?

Breakups are not like before. You’d lose someone’s phone number, and that would be it.

But these days? There are dozens of connections to cut before you finally dump an ex. You’ve got Facebook… Instagram… Twitter… you’ve got Skype contacts and email addresses, and yes, mostly you’ve got text messages.

So what does it mean when your ex boyfriend keeps texting you, even after he’s broken up with you? Are you alone and looking for company? Do you want to reconcile?

Or can his texts be nothing more than what he pretends they are: innocent communications between two adults who were once in a relationship?

When an ex texts you, it MEANS something

There is always something going on when an ex is trying to keep in touch. Whether you call, email, text, it doesn’t matter, the common thread between all of these things is that you’re still on his mind.

If you want to get it back, this is a good thing. That being said, every relationship goes through the same common cycle:

• overwhelming initial attraction
• ‘Honeymoon’ stage of romance (aka everything is amazing)
• Intense feelings develop, love blossoms
• Over time, strong emotional bonds are formed.

It is those emotional ties that you will use to get your boyfriend back. Even though he broke up with you, those feelings are still there. He can’t turn them off like a light switch, despite telling you “he’s done” or “he doesn’t feel them anymore”.

It’s very easy for guys to quickly bury those feelings…or at least convince themselves that they’re buried. Facing how you still feel after a breakup only hurts, so an ex boyfriend may ignore you, break all contact, or even tell you to stay away.

In short, he’s trying to get through the initial stages of your breakup with as little regret as possible. The emotional ties you have to him are still there, but they’re hidden below the surface and need to be *carefully* brought to light.

Should you text with your ex?

So now you’re sitting there trying to be cool, but your ex boyfriend suddenly texts you. Nothing crazy, just some “what’s up” stuff. He seems innocent, right? For example, you might send him a text message thinking that staying in touch with him is the best way to keep him interested.

Mistaken.

When you text with your ex boyfriend, you are actually DELAYING the reconciliation process. This is because:

• Your ex has no chance to miss you (because you’re still talking to him)
• Your ex is not worried about losing you (because he knows you still like him)
• Your ex knows exactly what you’re doing (there’s no danger of you moving on)

Even the most innocent communication via text is like saying to your ex boyfriend, “Hey, I’m still here! Don’t worry about me, I’ll stick around for a while, in case you change your mind.”

Honestly? This seems desperate. Your ex would have a lot more respect for you if you didn’t even respond to him, plus he’d start asking himself questions like, “Is he over me? Why isn’t he responding? Maybe he found someone else?”

This line of thought is exactly what you want. It is the precursor that he wants to get back with you. He plants the seeds of doubt in his head that will eventually make him question his decision to break up with you in the first place.

In order to win back your ex’s heart, you must first change the way he currently sees you. Too many people don’t understand this. They think they can enter into a potential reconciliation simply by telling someone how much they love and need them, and their ex will somehow miraculously listen.

These people, not surprisingly, hit a wall of indifference. If you feel like you’re hitting your head against this wall trying to get your ex boyfriend to consider you again, you’re already doing all the wrong things. To get it back, he’ll need to stop immediately and start doing the RIGHT thing.

In the end, texting is just one aspect of the post-breakup battle. To win the war, you need all the ammunition you can get. Above all, you need a battle plan.