4 ways to get back into your boyfriend’s life after a breakup

If you just broke up with your boyfriend, it’s no wonder getting back into his life is high on your list. However, wanting to get back into his life and doing so are two separate things. Your initial moves after the breakup can make or break your chances of getting back together, so you’ll need to come up with a game plan and execute it carefully.

Take it easy at first… that’s the idea here. Move too fast and too soon, your ex will simply move further away from you.

Remember that he broke up with you. If you want him back, you need to give him a reason to go out with you again, and you need to show it to him in a way that doesn’t scare him. If you are too strong, he will look away and he won’t even think twice about you.

Understand that getting back into your ex’s life won’t be instant. The biggest mistake you can make is trying to force yourself back into his life immediately after you’re done. Guys can see this coming from a mile away no matter how sweet and innocent you think you’re being.

What I’m trying to get across here is that you can’t just call him to chat or say “hi” or do anything else that might give you a “reason” to contact your ex. As difficult as it is, what you need to do now is walk away from it. Letting go of him gives you an air of independence, and by not forcing the issue, you make it seem like you’ve accepted the breakup.

This is probably the best strategy you can use, especially if you’re having trouble breaking contact with him or if he’s still trying to reach you.

Once you’ve decided to part with it, it has to be something you stick with for a while. Take comfort in the fact that if you execute this correctly, you’ll get your boyfriend back and he’ll be scaling walls to talk to you again. The no contact rule after a breakup is painful and temporary, but it’s also the most necessary phase in getting your ex boyfriend back. The more you extend the period of no contact between you and your ex, the more power you have to put yourself in a better position when it comes time to get back together.

How long should the no contact rule last?

The ideal period without contact lasts between 6 and 8 weeks. The best part of your immediate withdrawal from his life is that it will trigger deep-seated thought on his part. As your ex begins to examine the fact that you can live and breathe without him, he will begin to make some serious decisions in his life.

Nothing in a relationship speaks louder than actions, especially when those actions are nothing at all. If you take away one thing, let it be this: when it comes to getting your ex boyfriend back, less is more. The less you do now, the less you have to do later when it comes time to talk again.

All guys think the same thing when it comes to breaking up with a girl:

“After I break up with a girl, I hope she’ll come running back to me. She’ll have a million reasons why we should stay together, but I’ve got a million reasons why we shouldn’t.”

“I guarantee he’ll try to contact you again. The first few days after the breakup are awkward, so I try to keep my cell phone off.”

“If you don’t play your cards right, a breakup can be just as stressful as a relationship. The more she tries to continue the relationship, the less attractive she becomes and the less I want to see her.”

As you can see, you should ignore the urge to contact your ex right after the breakup, because doing so will seriously damage your chances of getting back together. Forcing the issue with your ex could seriously alter the way he sees you, and it won’t be good.

Having said that, there is a time when it’s okay to contact your ex that it won’t negatively affect you or your chances of getting back together. If you fully and effectively implement the no contact rule with your ex, the usual waiting period is six to eight weeks. I know it seems like a long time. However, this period of time is imperative when it comes to getting back together because it ensures that a few things have happened:

1. Having no contact with your boyfriend for six to eight weeks will make you extremely mysterious and attractive to him. He’s going to be curious as to why you dropped off the face of the earth and didn’t try to fight for the relationship. Also, your lack of contact with him will make him guess whether or not you have a new boyfriend and he will start to doubt himself, wondering if he made a serious mistake.

2. It’s been enough time that your ex boyfriend misses you now. The six to eight week time frame is long enough for this to start happening naturally without you having to lift a finger. This clearly shows him the power of the no contact rule and why it is so important to get his ex back.

3. Contacting your ex boyfriend after such a long absence will be met with pleasure rather than opposition, in fact I wouldn’t be surprised if he contacts you first! He will be curious about what you have been up to for so long, so play it slow and take it easy on the first phone call, don’t rush into anything. From what he knows, you probably have another boyfriend and are completely over him.

The most effective methods to contact your ex after the breakup

Alright, time to get down to business: how should you contact your ex boyfriend for the first time? What methods are the most effective for reestablishing contact, and how do you get back in touch with him in a way that doesn’t scare him?

Let’s examine each option below:

Facebook:

Of all the ways at your disposal, this is probably the worst. Writing a note on their wall is boring and shows them that you’re not very creative.

What you’re really telling your ex is that he’s not important to you and that you’d rather leave him a two-second message than have a real conversation with him. Instead, he resorted to using social media and his computer to reopen the lines of communication. As you can see, it’s not a very good idea.

Text messages:

As before, this is a failure. Texting your ex is only slightly better than a Facebook wall post. The problem with texting is that it leaves room for interpretation on your ex’s part, which could lead to confusion and ruin your chances of getting back together, it also gives you the option to delete your text altogether… which could cause you to panic. and then you wonder if he ever got the message in the first place, or just deleted it.

Email:

Sending emails is better than the previous two methods, but it’s still not pretty. Having said that, I still don’t recommend doing it unless your relationship started that way (which many do nowadays).

The advantage of using email over text messaging and Facebook is that it’s easier to compose your message and get your thoughts and ideas across. Ideally, you’ll want to compose a message that makes your ex want to call you back. The more cryptic and mysterious you are in your message, the more he’ll want to call you back and see what you’ve been up to. The ultimate goal here is to get your ex to call you. Reconnecting by phone is always the best option.

The phone call:

Don’t rush things when it comes to the phone call. It should be done when he has a few minutes to talk and have a real conversation with you. Don’t call him at work or when he’s out with his friends.

The phone call with your boyfriend is the most important step in getting back in touch with him and that’s why you have to be very careful. Keep the conversation between the two of you light and upbeat and try to be a little mysterious too. And don’t forget, since you’re the one who initiated the call; make sure you’re in control when you’re done.

During the phone call, make sure you use this simple trick that will make your ex unable to get you out of his mind. If you plant the seed now during your call, your ex boyfriend will be left imagining you for the rest of the night and all week.

The face-to-face meeting:

Regardless of what phase you are in, you will eventually have a face-to-face meeting with your ex. This can be risky or rewarding as you haven’t seen each other in a long time, but if done correctly it can bring quick results. I hope that during your period without contact you have improved as a person both physically and mentally. It is important that your ex is attracted to you just as he was before. If you look, dress, and smell your best, you’ll catch your ex boyfriend’s eye and greatly improve your chances of getting him back.

Just like the phone call with your ex, you’re just looking to give it a little taste, don’t give it too much too soon. Any face-to-face contact with your ex boyfriend should be brief so that you keep his curiosity at its peak and wanting more. This will also make your chance encounter seem less staged.

If you run into each other by accident, keep the conversation short with an apology that you’re busy and have to be somewhere else. This way it will look like you have completely moved on and gotten over it and you will be in complete control.

Don’t be surprised if during your “casual” encounter he doesn’t want you to leave. Get ready for this. If it happens, don’t worry; just tell him to call you later that night. That single invitation will make his heart pound, waiting to call you. This is a simple method to get the conversation flowing between the two of you, and it puts the ball in your court.