Get in control of how you react to events in your life
Control is something we all want. People want to control other people, situations, and events, to name a few. However, in reality, the only thing you can really control is you, to be more precise, your thoughts.
When we try to control other people, we cause conflict, discomfort and pain, both to the other person and to ourselves. The thing about the control we desperately crave is that we all seek to control external factors, with the dim hope that we can gain some control in our own lives.
Actually, there are only three main emotions:
- Love (including happiness, peace, etc.)
- Anger (including hatred, unhappiness, etc.)
- Fear (including uncertainty, dread, etc.)
All of our feelings are a combination of these emotions. Love draws you to something; Anger creates conflict and ultimately confronts you with something, while fear takes you away from things. By controlling (or trying to control) external factors, we are really only trying to reduce anger and fear, while increasing love and all the emotions related to it.
The good news is that it is easier to be in control of everything by controlling your thoughts. There is an important point to remember, to remind you that you are in control:
- Every event or situation that happens in your life is neither good nor bad, it is just an event or situation
It is our interpretation of the event or situation that we CAN control. The event itself does not make you feel good or bad emotions, it is your REACTION to the event that does.
Let’s look at an example: you lose your job. Now if you loved your job, got along with your boss, and took the time, you will naturally feel annoyed; However, if you hated the job, you will probably be relieved or happy!
By looking for the positive in any given event and situation, you can change them to be to your benefit in some way. If someone yells at you, you can decide whether or not to get angry. Maybe they had a bad day, maybe they remind you how you don’t want to be and maybe you did something to hurt them; it is your choice how you react.
Changing the way you act in any given situation or event really depends on changing your attitude towards them. Take a second to breathe deeply and slowly before reacting, to give yourself time to decide how you really want to react. Too often, we allow our subconscious to decide how we react to any given situation; that’s why you feel out of control, so regain control by deciding to control how you react!