The 3 C’s of Dog Training: Control, Control, Control
thrive (thrive) v. grow or develop with vigor and health; to flourish
In my opinion, a thriving canine is a happy, well balanced, accomplished dog that enjoys people and that people enjoy being around. There are three Cs involved in raising a canine to thrive: control, control, and control.
- control your dog
- control the environment
- control your emotions
Before we get into the details of these 3 controls, let’s clear up the word control. “Control” can have a negative connotation or be misunderstood. It falls into the same category as other potentially problematic words like leadership, dominance, and even the word command. Many people misunderstand these words because, to them, it sounds like you should rule your dog like a tyrannical fascist dictator.
“I do not want to do that,” they’ll say. “I love my dog. I don’t want them to fear me.”
In the past, this seeming softness bothered me. “Have people really gotten so soft that I have to tiptoe with every word?” I would ask myself. Then I started running into people on the other side of the spectrum who would misunderstand these words and go overboard like this guy:
“Oh yeah, I know. You have to let your dog know you’re dominant. You have to pin him to the ground and stuff. Yeah, I know. If they don’t listen to me, I just grab this.” big stick and they run to the back, so I know they respect me.
Well, suffice it to say that I have become aware of the fact that words are very important, very powerful, and using one instead of the other can have a totally different effect in a conversation with anyone.
Imagine this. You win two hundred dollars in concert tickets for you and someone special. They turn to you during the show and say, “as soon as all this screams and noise It’s over, I want to talk to you about something”. I think we can all agree that the preferred terms would be “singing and music.“ Semantics?
So with that said, let me just say that the kind of control I’m talking about isn’t about being mean, suffocating, fear-based, or any of those other concerns that might come up. I’m not in the business of breaking a dog’s spirit. I am in the business of helping people have a better and longer lasting relationship with their dog. The truth is that dogs really need and respond positively to Right leadership and the three C’s are part of that package. As you will see, the three C’s will not make your dog fear you, they will make your dog love and appreciate you.
Control #1: Your Dog This basically has to do with training and socializing your dog. A dog that is well trained will make a much better companion and a joy to be around. They will be allowed to be in a variety of dog-friendly places, they will be able to enjoy the freedom of being off-leash, running on the beach, etc. and have a better temperament in general. They obey orders and have good manners. The key here is that for this to happen you need to be heard. Not just when they feel like it or when they know you have a gift, but anytime and every time you ask. This is where a bit of that semantics comes in. That’s why I use the word Command, but some people may prefer Cue or Signal. The command may sound too harsh, but Cue or Signal may sound a bit like a request, which the dog may interpret as “I don’t have to if I don’t want to.” Whatever word you choose, keep this in mind. The dog who thinks he has a choice is the one who might choose:
- Don’t “come” when you call
- Don’t “Throw It” or “Leave It” when you’re getting into something nasty or poisonous.
- Does not stop jumping, chewing, biting, barking, digging, etc. when you say “no”
Regardless of how you feel about the word control, it’s a must if you want your dog to be a part of the society we live in. Left unchecked, dogs often become a nuisance or worse, aggressive and thus end up in a shelter or are euthanized. I call this uncomfortably common problem “loving dogs to death.” In a nutshell, this is Control Your Dog.
Control #2 The Environment “Control the environment? How am I supposed to do that?”
Well, obviously we can’t always control the world around us. What we can do is control when, where and what our dog is exposed to, at least as far as possible. This may mean controlling and limiting access to the house until they are fully house trained, as well as limiting their freedom on your property or in the park. It may mean being more alert to your surroundings while walking. A big part of raising a dog is grooming. Some environmental controls could be:
- Keep your dog on a leash in the house until he is house trained
- Use baby gates, close doors, and keep trash out of reach
- Keep items off the floor that you don’t want to chew on
- Keep suitable chew toys available at all times
- Leave the dog park when it gets too noisy or if you have any sense of danger.
- Cross the street or go the other way if you see a potential problem
- Handle people who try to approach your dog without asking your permission
- Avoid dogs that drag a human behind them.
The main idea here is to set your dog up for success by controlling the environment and his access to it so he has as many positive experiences as possible. They will make mistakes, no doubt, but you will be there and have set up the situation to have some control. Guide them and let them know what is okay and what is not. We are not trying to deny them access to the world; we are providing guidance so that they ultimately gain the most access possible. Too much freedom, too soon, without a fair amount of control can lead to bad habits, dangerous situations, and negative experiences. All of this can lead to phobias and aggression problems. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.
Control #3: Your Emotions Last, but certainly not least, is control of your emotions. I will not lie; this is the most challenging part of all for most of us humans. We are emotional beings and sometimes we are so stretched to the limit that we are about to burst. Our modern lives keep us so busy and in such a state of constant mental and physical stress that we tend to lose our cool very easily. Remember that scene in Pulp Fiction when Honey Bunny is robbing the restaurant and Samuel Jackson’s character is trying to calm her down? She says something about being like Fonzie.
“And how is Fonzie?” He asks. “He is great”. Honey Bunny folds up.
This is how we have to be with our dogs. We have to be like the Fonz. We need to be cool.
We love our dogs, of course, and there are times when we want to be animated, play hard, make exciting, high-pitched voices, etc. Maybe you like to curl up on the couch and whisper sweet things in your dog’s ear. There may also be times when we need to use a firm tone to tell them “No!” However, the key is that these should be very occasional. Most of the time, believe it or not, it would be better not to talk at all. Dogs really don’t need that much sound. Most of the conversation is for us, not them.
“Most dogs are talked to too much, touched too much, and stimulated too much.” – Martin Deeley, co-founder of the International Association of Canine Professionals
Regardless of how much noise we make, the real secret is to control our emotions. If we are angry, frustrated, sad, guilty, etc., we are not in a good place to do the right thing for our dogs. It is never a good idea to be in an overly emotional state when dealing with your dog. I am not saying that he is a robot and I am certainly not claiming to have mastered this art myself. It’s a really good thing to keep in mind. Your dog is very sensitive to his environment and that includes you and your emotional state. They may mirror his emotions, feel repelled or overly intimidated by them, or just learn to ignore him because he’s unstable. Examples of emotional control:
- To calm your dog, you must be calm. Hint: if you are yelling at your dog, you are not calm.
- If your dog needs a correction: Be as firm as necessary and don’t correct angrily. Stay in a “matter of fact” state of mind. You are not arguing or negotiating, you are just training a dog.
- Don’t take your dog’s bad behavior personally. They are not trying to hurt you or make you angry. They are not human. They are a dog and need guidance and fulfillment.
- Don’t feel guilty or sad. If there is any justification for your fault, such as not meeting your dog’s needs, then you need to do something about it. Feeling guilty will only make things worse because it decreases the time you share and negatively impacts the dog.
- Give yourself a break, not the dog. If you find yourself getting angry, embarrassed, etc. take a break time. Time outs don’t work with dogs; they cannot go to their room and think about what they have done.
- If you are afraid of your dog: See Checkpoint #1 and get professional help. Find a trainer who is well-rounded and can teach you how to train your dog and set up a reclassification program. It is dangerous and unhealthy for both you and your dog to let this type of relationship go unchecked.
Again, we are all human and can only do the best we can. Hopefully, the three C’s have given you new insight into your dog’s mind, as well as your own. The mind is a very powerful thing, underestimated by most. Who knows, heeding this advice may help you not only raise a better dog, but also gain greater mental and emotional control in all aspects of life.
“Whether you think you can or you think you can’t, you’re right.” – Henry Ford