The art of safe conversation
When I first started speaking for a living, I had great difficulty conversing one-on-one with members of my audience. I could speak in front of 2,500 people and enjoy every minute, but when I was expected to mix and mingle, my tongue turned to thumbs. I decided to get down to work
improving my conversational skills and researched the topic thoroughly. My efforts paid off because now I can talk to anyone, anywhere, and for any length of time. Let me share with you what I learned.
* There are three fundamental principles on which a good conversation is based. 1. It’s better to be interested than interesting 2. There is nothing quite as flattering as the undivided attention of another human being. 3. People yearn to talk about their favorite subject, which is “themselves.” Keep this in mind and you will not be able to help but become a great conversationalist.
* Take responsibility for starting and maintaining the conversation.
* I usually start with a friendly “Hello, I’m Mike Moore and I’m from Canada.” Usually the response is “Hi Mike, I’m ____________ and I’m from __________. (Go away, go away.)
* Use the person’s name throughout the conversation. It shows that you are interested and focused on the other.
* Let the other be the center of attention.
* Show genuine interest in the person you are talking to. Maintain eye contact.
* Ask questions that require more than a one word answer.
* When asking a question, listen carefully to the answer and be quick to ask another question that follows from the answer to the first. You learn what to say by listening carefully to what is said.
* Make the other person feel comfortable smiling and nodding frequently during the conversation.
* Talk in terms of the other person’s interests.
* Don’t feel the need to disagree until you get to know the person better.
GREAT PHRASES OF CONVERSATION
* “That’s interesting. Tell me more.”
* “Give me an example of what you mean.”
* “How would you like it to turn out?”
* How did you feel when that happened to you?”
CONVERSATION STARTERS
* Give a compliment.
* Ask for advice.
* Seek help with something.
* Give praise.
* Request an opinion.
I have six honest servants
They taught me everything I know.
Their names are what and why and when
And how and where and who.
R.Kipling