How to pick up girls at the bar – The 3 essential skills
There are three basic skills that anyone learning how to be good with women must have first. I put them in order of importance because it’s like building a house. Without this base, the structure is fragile and the walls can collapse.
Skill 1: vibrate
Vibrating is an essential skill that everyone needs to learn. It will make the difference between needing routines and running out of things to say or flow. It will also spill over into all areas of your life.
When you talk to a woman, she will give you all the information you need to know how to proceed, you just have to listen, understand and know what to do next.
Most people are constantly thinking in their head trying to think of what to say next while at the same time not paying attention to the words that are coming out of their mouths.
Really, it’s just listening and responding.
This allows you to be present in your interaction instead of being in la-la land.
Obviously this is a skill, but it can be learned. This ability not only helps in seduction, but in life, at work and with friends.
I use it daily. I’m in sales. My job is to help them buy my product by seeing what their needs are and showing them how my product can meet those needs.
People communicate how to sell to them or what their interests are through their actions and words.
Women are the same way.
Example: You could be talking about travel. Where have I been and where has she been. This has an infinite number of routes where it could flow. Let’s say she says that she has been to Ireland. I can continue down that path instead of changing the subject and mentioning something fancy that I came up with.
I could explain how you liked the trip, did you eat Sheppard’s pie, kissed the blarney stone, stayed in a small town, did the normal tourist thing, learned a little Gaelic etc etc etc.
Women give you everything you need, it’s just a matter of seeing it, feeling it, hearing it and using the information they give you.
It may take some time to develop this sense, but you can do it. Once you have it, it becomes autopilot like tying your shoes.
During your daily interactions, try to broach a topic and see how far you can take it. Start small and continue down that conversational path for a minute.
When this feels comfortable, try to keep the conversation going longer.
Next, try going down one conversation path, switch to another, and make it last a minute or so.
Once it’s easy, continue with that pattern. Over time, you will feel a natural connection and flow with each person you meet.
You want to be able to easily freestyle whatever theme she brings to you. This exercise helps you get there.
The reason for this is just so that you can properly interact with people, make friends, and then be able to have conversations with women without seeming weird.
Skill 2: Taunts
This is one of my favorite ways to build attraction. This makes the difference between being just a friend and someone who has your interest.
Teasing is a natural occurrence between men and women who are attracted to each other.
That is the reason why it is called a game. It is a flirtatious dance between a man and a woman. Stimulates a woman. Women are emotional creatures. If you interact with them and they don’t feel anything for you, there’s no point in chasing them. She will have no desire to go on a date or to get to know you better.
When you interact, do it about them. Keep it fun, light and playful. Get them to connect with you emotionally.
Back in kindergarten, remember when the boys and girls teased each other and the other came chasing them. By joking around, you keep the fun going between the two of you, increase attraction, and increase sexual tension. Now I must clarify and say that mocking is not being rude. He’s just mocking.
Examples:
“You and I would never get along. I’m not sure you can handle all this awesomeness.”
“You seem innocent. That’s good because I’m a troublemaker. We can even out.”
“I should hire you as my live-in maid. The pay sucks and I don’t offer free meals, but other than that, it’s a great job.”
I’m going to give you a piece of a recent text interaction so you understand what I mean… and no, mocking doesn’t mean insulting the woman.
Text example:
ME: Do you always flirt with cute guys on OkCupid? Lol – raking
** Here, I’m being playful and fun while role-playing and flipping the frame like she picked me up. A woman knows what I’m doing here. It’s so different from the messages she normally gets, it intrigues, teases, and helps me stand out from the crowd of other guys because she starts off on a fun note, all good stuff. **
ELLA: No, ha ha, I can’t say yes.
** Here, she is playing. That means I’ve hooked her and it’s time to turn this interaction into a date through banter, humor, general conversation, and a game plan**
ME: Lol, I guess I should feel special then. 🙂
**I am acknowledging and responding based on your response, as well as preparing for a tease and future date plan. **
ELLA: Ha, no, I really get lucky sometimes, but that’s about it.
Me: That’s perfect! Then I promise I’ll only take away the hugs and the sweets. 😉
** Once again, a fun and playful joke **
Her: Candy… That’s a bit harsh ha-ha
**Once again, she plays along with me and this kind of communication will lead me to the goal of her wanting to see me again**
Lots of things can be done in person by meeting a woman, texting her right when you’re talking to her, texting when you’re not with her, and on the date. It’s about knowing what to do. When you build this fun world of play together, she feels comfortable with you and will want to see you again.
Understanding teasing is one of the keys to being successful with women. Learn this and you will be that much closer to mastering your attraction skills and notice a difference in your life. It will flow from you on autopilot. He will come to your aid when you meet that woman who is your type to the letter. Being armed with her tools to attract her will make you stand out and shine among the sea of men clamoring for the same woman.
Become the selector, not the selected one.
Skill 3: Ranking
A woman wants to feel desired for who she is, not just for her appearance.
Making her feel wanted in the right way is the difference between interaction going nowhere, a possible one-night stand, potential girlfriend and friends with benefits, as well as other opportunities.
Think of it this way. People want to be loved and appreciated for who they are and not for how they look. When you’re rating a girl, she comes down to the simple logic that you like her for the traits and characteristics that make her who she is and not because she’s a delight to the eye.
Look at it, it’s like you’re a trust fund baby. Wouldn’t you like to be loved for who you are and not for the amount of money you have?
When you rate her, it should be on attributes and the things she does. Now, I’m not saying you should like everything he does.
As a man, you have to have things you look for in a woman to survey the sea of women out there in the world.
These can be cold readings or how you want it to act. If you create the image well, it will live up to your expectations.
The reason this works is social conditioning. Here’s a good example of what I mean:
Think about this. Have you ever in your life had to act one way with one group of people and completely different with another group? That’s social conditioning at work.
Examples of qualification and conditioning:
“Do you have something in your life that you are passionate about beyond belief…and please don’t say watching TV (smile)?”
** You are setting it up for her to give you an in-depth answer. The TV part is so she can’t get away with a dumb answer**
“What was it that made you want to take that path in life?”… Reward him with “wow, that’s really cool. Very few people can say…” and then add something like “Let me ask you why this path in your life is important to you”
** You are starting the foundation of being his cheerleader in a sense.
This will make her more open with you; you are a positive reinforcement**